Last night one of my childhood abusers popped up on the side of my Facebook page as a friend suggestion.
Well, why wouldn't he? We certainly have enough 'mutual friends'.
My abuser was the golden boy. Everyone thought he was such a great guy. So much so that I knew at the age of five not to bother telling on him because what good would it do? I knew everyone liked him better.
An aunt caught him assaulting me once and told him she would tell my mother if she caught him doing it again. Guess what? She never caught him again so it continued. For years. Duh.
For years the knowledge that someone knew and did nothing to protect me messed me up worse than the abuse itself. As an adult I was told that the reason no one reported it was the same reason I didn't. Fear of not being believed or even being turned on for maligning Mr Perfect. When I was a teen I told someone and since I was in state's custody at the time my parents had to be notified.
It changed absolutely nothing. No one cared.
At a family gathering a week before my 16th birthday I begged my mother not to invite him to my party. Her response was to walk into the room and ask him what his plans were for the following weekend. I spent much of 'my' party sitting on the front porch. Looking back I realize that incident was a pretty good summation of my childhood.
Years later he was busted for messing with another young girl. He served a little time and is now on the sexual offender registry.
Everyone still thinks he's a swell guy. Me? I'm the 'crazy' one.
What do you do when everyone likes your abuser more than they like you?